We’re honored to have Dr. Richard L. Mabry as a guest blogger this week. Dr. Mabry’s book, Tender Scar, The: Life After the Death of a Spousecame out of his own grief experience, the loss of a wife. Below he shares some insights regarding helping people through the grief process.

Since the publication of my book, The Tender Scar:
Life After The Death Of A Spouse, I’m often asked how
we can minister during a time of grief: to family, to
friends, to church members. I wish I had all the
answers, but here are a few thoughts that might help.

Penetrate the wall of isolation

In the throes of my own grief, I hungered for
conversation and human contact, so much so that I
welcomed phone calls from telephone solicitors. I
checked my email a dozen times a day, hoping for
something from friends but willing to settle for spam.

Give your grieving friend a call a couple of times a
week. What can you say? Just ask, “How are you
feeling?” If that doesn’t lead to a conversation, try
“Do you want to talk about it?” The substance of the
conversation will be forgotten soon, but the effort
won’t. The most important thing is to care, and to
show it.

Send an email, if the bereaved one is as tied to a
computer as most folks are nowadays. Let them know
you’re thinking of them. Point them to an
inspirational web site you like. Send them something
that made you laugh. The content of the message is
important, but more important still is the fact that
you cared enough to reach out to them.

Be sure to visit again as Dr. Mabry continues his talk on Ministering During Grief

As always, your comments are welcome


2 Responses

  1. Teena Stewart

  2. One of the things I have heard several grieving people tell me is that people seem engaged for a couple of weeks and then quickly took on a “well, you need to get over it” kind of attitude. That you suggested a call a “couple of times a week” also seems to suggest to me that this is an ongoing process. Curious to know if you or others believe technology can replace, or only supplement the human contact. In other words.. is a phone call or as healing as a visit.

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